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Hoping for timelessness
I find myself seeking fleetingness...
Dancing from flower to flower,
Never settling for one
I choose all.
©2009 =Aldarune
:iconaldarune:

Author's Comments

It started as a haiku and then evolved into an open poem.
It's still in the works so I'll change it upon receiving input and according to my inspiration.

Critiques


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Comments


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:iconrockchick89:
Wow, this is beautiful! I love your use of imagery, it gives a really nice summer feel to the poem. Short and sweet, there isn't a word of this that I would change. Great job! :clap:

--
Now that's just RUDE!



I'm only witty on the Internet.
:iconaldarune:
I'm ever so glad
You loved it so bad
Sad I can't hug you

--
The dreams and wishes of today are the deformed realities of tomorrow.

My latest deviation, Humming bird!
:iconrockchick89:
Gratitude is a
State of grace, although
Here there is no need


:hug:

--
Now that's just RUDE!



I'm only witty on the Internet.
:iconshadowedpixie:
i agree entirely with rockchick89 ;)

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1: 16676PCR
2: 23992350RP
3: 6689668REP
4: 6689300
:iconaldarune:
:iconiluplz:

--
The dreams and wishes of today are the deformed realities of tomorrow.

My latest deviation, Humming bird!
:iconshadowedpixie:
you're very sweet

--
1: 16676PCR
2: 23992350RP
3: 6689668REP
4: 6689300
:iconmary-cherry-me:
I love the first line :heart: It quite sets the mood :nod: the end was great too. "I choose all" just put a lid on it.
Nice use of personification too.

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...in my panties :noes:

[O.O]
/)__)
-"--"- This owl. You scarred it for life.
:iconliz9:
beautiful:)

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I eat children......
:iconfoxbane:
I'm not really amazing at responding to poetry (despite doing English literature at A level and being forced to analyse it =P) but I did like this. The last line just closes it so perfectly! Very beautiful. It puts the picture into my head. :D

--
Blasphemy is a victimless crime

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July 26
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